Well here it is. Today I have the first major test of my entire life done...at 3:15 pm. The biggest test I've ever had done, up until today, was blood work. As some of you know, I'm not crazy about doctors or anything medical in nature. I can't stand the idea of someone looking and analyzing my brain. I mean, it's MY brain. You only get one. I guess ignorance is bliss to an extent. It's like, I know something is going on- but I'm not sure I want to know what it is. I just want to know what it is not. Does that make sense?
I'm nervous about today, but not scared. It's just a test after all. I won't get the results back today. I'm hoping to get the results by the end of the week so I don't have to think about it all weekend. I know I'll be scared to death for that appointment. No doubt.
I've actually been doing fine today. I have cried just a little- after reading the comments people have been sending me on Facebook. I posted a quick thing saying I was getting an MRI today and it really made me feel better reading that people were praying and thinking of me. I normally read that kind of stuff and I think- yeah right I bet they won't pray. It's just a pleasantry. But I truly hope that these people really are praying. And for some reason just hearing someone write "my love is with you" is extremely touching to me today. I know the MRI isn't a painful test. I know I won't be hearing anything back today. But this is extremely scary for me. I think it would be scary for anyone.
I want to talk about how blessed I am today. I have lived almost 27 years with absolutely zero health problems. I have never been admitted to a hospital. I've never had one single surgery. I've never been poked or prodded, I've never had to worry about my health. I have had two beautiful children that, so far, have been perfectly healthy. I have a wonderful husband that loves me- and as he has recently said to me, "Anyone problem you have is OUR problem." And that's truly how he feels. He would be with me through thick and thin. He would lovingly take care of me, if that's what I needed. He is my best friend. God couldn't have blessed me more.
I have great insurance that, thank God, is completely paying for my MRI so I don't have to worry about the cost. We have a roof above our heads and a bed to sleep in. We have food to eat and we have each other. And I have my family and friends, that, despite all of my shortcomings, actually really do love me. Amazingly. :p
I have so much to be thankful for. Instead of thinking how unfair it is to have to have these kind of tests at such a young age, I need to remind myself how BLESSED I am already. So so so so so unbelievably blessed.
I love you guys.